Like Dorian Gray.

I'm constantly reminded how much can happen in just twenty four hours.

I had my braces tightened. And it feels like I'm going crazy.
Every time someone asks, does it hurt? Hell yeah. Imagine someone laying a plank across your teeth, then balancing themselves on their knees on top of that. Imagine that constant pressure, running your tongue across your teeth throws you into throes of agony.

Whipped cream and waffles. You've gotta love the chocolate lunge~

But I sort of grew unto visiting the dentist, I used to be terrified of injections, but now I'm like "Bring on the painkillers! I'm not going to let you start until you give me my nerve blockers!" Cause it feels ten times better after the jab, its such a funny funny feeling, you feel something, it irks you still, but it doesn't hurt. Like an itch you can't scratch.

Old resurfaced photo. The day Caryn fell in the pond. Funny how panic overwhelms pain.

You lie back there, deliriously happy as you watch flecks of spit fly upwards getting caught in the dentists hair, tinting his glasses. Of course there's gravity so 80% of the spit is landing on you, but hey, its your own spit.

I'm very graphic aren't I? Its awesome when your words come out and you start making sense, because that's rare for me.

I got drunk for the first time last week.
It was in good company, don't worry. People who took care of me, I felt like a burden. Felt very bad, like I ruined everyone's night.

Mamaking with the gang- I'm so glad Niesha comes back every weekend.

Its a really odd feeling, I don't remember much, just bits and pieces here and there and I can't seem to put a time line on events. It hit me pretty suddenly, one moment I was sane, the next my face was sliding off and I had to hold it in place with my hands.

And you can't seem to hold up a facade anymore, whatever you're feeling, it all just comes out. No filter on the mouth, every thought I had spilling out, I held my mouth to stop myself from saying things. And I felt like everyone was staring at me, they probably were, I probably looked very stupid anyway.

I didn't drink a lot. Like 3-4 mugs of beer and a tequila shot, am an EPIC FAIL, I know. I licked the salt off, drank half of it, gagged on its burning taste, drank the other half, gagged some more and dropped my lemon.

Alvin has a scar on his chin.



Me and Gloria- Who has recently taken to punching me a lot... =/



Ugh. Braces. I think me and Casey could pass for brother and sister, what do you think?

When Gloria sleeps, its on a whole different level than you and I. Its so deep she can't be woken up, trust me, the things I've done to her in her sleep. She'd be horrified. XD

"Back then I swore that I'd marry him someday
but I realized some bigger dreams of mine..."
- Taylor Swift
I know its Taylor Swift, but it applies... =/

PS: I haven't finished my Christmas shopping. What do guys want? Its so hard!

PPS: Just bought a book I was really looking forward to. The Hunchback of Notre Dame by Victor Hugo. I'm hoping it won't let me down like Dracula. =/

Revelation. Revelation

I'm not fit to be a mother.

Ethan and Esther. They're both so sepet.

I like children, really, but I tried taking Ethan and Esther out today; before we left, my mom told them this horror story of a kid who didn't hold his mothers hand and got snatched away by an Indian man.

So I take them to the Kodak store, to get some photo's printed. First thing they saw was an Indian lady getting her potrait taken. "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH INDIAN!!!" *Head palm* Now the Kodak store man probably thinks we come from some racist family. (Only my mother, really.)
"Shut up! Don't call them Indians!"

Then I brought them to the 100 Yen store to get those milky Japanese Snow dessert things. We pass by an Indian barber shop. "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH APUNENEH!" I died on the spot. I yanked them away and ran as fast as I could. =.="

I'm really really tired today. And its only ten!

I rainbow-ed my whole room- Rainbow being the gigantic vacumn cleaner.

The very ugly Rainbow vacumn cleanner. What a tragic tragic name.

Its this vacumn cleaner that uses water to remove dust, its really heavy and loud. I was lugging it up and down my room with the new maid- She's my age and really really tiny, like four feet five? She's barely up to my chest.

Both arms are aching like mad now, plus I bathed and groomed Angel AND brought those kids out. It's been a productive day. =)

Black roots. Ugh.

"I could hear the rain coming,
I could hear the sirens sound,
Now my feet won't touch the ground..."
- Life in Technicolor ii by Coldplay
I don't know why but it makes me sad. =/

PS: Reading Life of PI for the third time. I don't ever get bored of that book. I should get "The Mist" from Suze. =/

I've seen her photos.

I stood there with my ear to the door for a long time.

I think I just wanted to know whether he was crying. I don't think he ever cares whether he makes me cry. I'm not a child no more, I'm not stupid or ignorant, I know so much more than he knows I know. And the worst part is? I'm in this alone.

The saddest part was, YOU didn't care whether I was alright or not. All you cared about was that I didn't tell anyone. So that you could save your face.

I wish I didn't say the things I did. No one deserves to hear such... But I did. And I'll suffer the consequences. You probably hate me, its alright, my fault again.

"Straight to hell."

One thirteen am.

I've been busy with my own projects.

I've been booked for a few jobs but they're all in December. (Whoopee!) So yeah, I've about two weeks more stoning till I have something to do.

All this free time makes me a really healthy person, I've been getting thirteen hours of sleep, I have lots of time so I've taking good care of my skin, vitamins, tablets, bio-oil, I hang around my mom's shop lots so I've been drinking lots and lots of organic juice. (Order a passion fruit, papaya and apple mix! Yummy and nutritious!)

Things I've been up to this week...



1. Set up the Christmas tree.

I realized when I was in Midvalley and all the decorations were up. I got home and lugged the tree out of the store. We got this tree last last year, I sort of fought to get the biggest tree, but now its my respondsibility to set it up every year and the bristles can really make you itch!

2. Sent Angel for grooming.

Doesn't she look adorable? Like a baby fox.
I love the way she smells after grooming- like a baby; She comes back really really clean, toenails cut, clean paws and skin. Grooming IS expensive but so very worth it!

3. Painting

I'm not the best with water colors but I try.

I'm really much more into sketching. But I've been painting some really adorable stuff for Christmas gift tags, I'm not posting them up of course. You guys are going to have to wait till Christmas!

4. Sewing

We've got this new sewing machine thats digitalized~

Its such a change from our old one. That big rusty thing that constantly smells like petroleum, the really loud roar whenever you're sewing, its alright short term, but after a while it kinda gets on your nerves.

Our new sewing machine? Awesome. It sews all kinds of fancy stitches, I bet it can even turn into a helicopter if I bother to read through the thick-as-a-dictionary manual~

Look at all the fancy stitching!



The crocodile stitch! They sure don't teach that in home economics. =/



It can even stitch your name, all you have to do is key in the alphabets!

Sewing my new high waisted plaid skirt~



Haha. Super fail camwhorers. We were both standing on the dining chairs.



Modelling the skirt~ Don't ask about the tiget on the table.

Don't be too impressed. I think my mother burst a vein trying to teach me.

I accidentally sewed the skirt shut two times and had to open the stitches slowly. The hemming at the bottom is a little wonky too, but it'll be fine if no one pays too much attention. Haha. I told Evonne I'd make her one and she gave me this smirkish smile, which really means "HELL NO!"

My midnight snack. Because Alvin won't let me kidnap him~

I just finished Stephen Kings book.

His books always leave me a little weirded out. I think its the fonts; do you know when you're silently reading to yourself? There's always this narration going on steadily in your head. When I hit certain font types that voice turns into this irregular scream, if anyone has ever read "Hearts in Atlantis" you'd know which part I'm talking about.

"CALL HOusitonic 5-8337
(OR)
BRING to THE PENN GRILLE!
Ask for THE LOW MEN IN THE YELLOW COATS!
Motto: We eat it RARE!"

I don't think its the caps because I don't get that with lala people. Just this. Weird...

PS: I graduated Foundation in Mass Communications with a 3.38 gpa! Mom is utterly unimpressed but she's too used to her other straight A scoring children. I for one, am very satisfied with my results. =)

4th Flyniversary

Because I promised.

I was one of the crazies in the mosh pit during the 4th Flyniversary. Gloria is the hugest fan of Bunkface ever! And she was always the one to put up with all my crazy celebrity obsessions, so I figured I owed her.

Shila!

It was very rough in the mosh pit with all the idiots dancing like everyone else didn't exist, this malay dude sort of elbowed me backwards and this other guy got pissed and went and punched him. I got out of there as soon as I could, both arms clinging to Eugene.

Gloria and Kevin fought their way to the very front. I gave up halfway and clutched the side barriers. It was raining and raining and the energy was insane, everyone was deliriously happy. I was just there to wait for Bunkface. Really.

We gave up on the umbrella for the second part of the show.



Shopping ventures during the break.



Bunkface came out last. Murphys Law. FML.



Hunnymadu! She looks like Ambers sister. =/



Drenched and deliriously so...



Gloria is happy~



Gloria in my new vintage-y sunnies. I like!

Currently reading~

"Is your skin as tanned as mine?
Does your hair flow sideways?
Did someone took a portion of your heart?
And im learning you..."
-Yuna, Deeper Conversation.
Caught her performing it live. Beautiful.

PS: My college mates are having fun in Terengganu. =C How I wish I was anywhere but here....

Braceface.

I haven't blogged in so long. You must think I'm dead.

No. I haven't been dead busy, just plain reluctant and lazy to come online. I was eliminated from the Ford Supermodel of the Year search, because of my braces. I had problems for a long time with them, it was very frustrating on my part because they'd want my mouth closed, but I couldn't without the strain showing on my photos, I couldn't smile because then they'd see the braces.

Taken with my phone's camera, photo shoot in front of Starhill.

Amber and the other judges kept telling me to look as though there was nothing in my mouth, but I couldn't, there IS something in my mouth. Stupid braces. I was freakishly upset when I got eliminated, especially after everything, from the controversial Malaysian Supermodel Search to this.

However, I can't stress on how fun an experience this is. I really missed it after I got eliminated. The hair and makeup, the cool things we got to do, famous photographers taking our photos, celebrities we hung out with on a daily basis. =/

Other models on standby...

PS: I've lost my juice to blog. Will update on BUNKFACE live when I've the time... or mood...

Ford Supermodel of the World Search- Malaysia: Top 30 Elimination

Yeah. So I went back and tried out again for Ford Supermodel of the World.

Its pretty demoralizing when you really thought you've made it to the top 10 girls then you get pulled back down to nothing again. But that was nothing, that was my pre-reality show grooming X), now I feel more confident, more natural in front of the camera, I try not to get flustered a lot but it still happens every now and then. Practice makes perfect~ :)

Our new host Daphne Iking and me. She speaks english beautifully and is really friendly too!

The competition seems pretty steep, I find that there is a slim chance of me getting into top ten. When we were lining up, all these big names and already established models were coming in. The girls from the Padini ads, the girls that you see on makeup boxes, where I used to be tallest now I shouldn't even show my face. XD But its alright, Malaysia deserves someone really top to win this thing, we shouldn't send out a completely inexperienced newbie.

I got back into the Top 30 and shooting starts Tuesday. Our first episode airs November 16 and its going to be an ONLINE reality show! Only the grand finale will be on Starworld, so join the fanclub! Follow them on twitter! From what Amber told me, this is going to be big!

Click here for the official website where our webisodes will come out!

Christina, Daphne Iking and me. I tried fixing the color but I effed it up even more! X(



Ukay and Jazz who both got into the mens top 30 as well!



Me, Sien and Kelly~

Went to support my brother in his concert last week! Micheal Jackson! I thought Ethan was the tallest most goodlooking there, but I'll never let him know. XD

"I'd still be blogging;
Even if my total readership consists of a fifty year old man in Moscow with his hands in his pants."
- My retort to the very classy remark of "Nobody cares what you blog about anyway!"

PS: All photo credits to Christina Lim! Who is a mad shopaholic, even I am a little afraid at times. XD

PPS: Am waiting on a laptop, just want to play the Sims so badddddddd.