Rant.

I'm a Buddhist on paper.

Its in my I.C but not by practice, I've always been an Atheist or an Agnostic [?] Which one is the one that believes there's a god out there but can't decide which one? Either way, I'm that one. I believe in a higher power but not a religion.

But I've been reading up on Buddhism a lot. And one of their practices is to detach, detach yourself from material goods, things, money, people [?] cause apparently thats the only way to be truly happy.

I get that, things don't last, you don't keep them after you die. People, they let you down, they change, you change, we're all in a flux, we're all in a mess, we don't know what we're doing. Then what is life for? Helping other people? Then you get attached to them and defeat everything you worked for.

I don't get the point of living sometimes. Maybe I'm secretly a nihilist, behind closed doors. Its hard to mantain a facade-talk about shallow things, stupid things that don't benefit anybody. Sometimes I feel like confronting things, situations, people I'd, in any other sane frame of mind choose to ignore.

If you hate me so much, why do you keep reading my blog? Like my feed doesn't tell me who you are. Practically everyone you bitch about me to, comes up to me and tells me what a bitch you are. But you do what you want, I'm choosing to ignore you.

I'm so detached from this kind of high-school rumor spreading, and I didn't even want to honor you with a mention. You can live your wannabe Gossip Girl life by yourself, I just want you to know, I know who you are and I know what you're saying.

And I totally don't know how a blog post that started out discussing religion ended up here. (Disgusting, I know.) But as an advice for highschool girls who read my blog, stay out of the drama, if a person had a valid problem with you they'd confront you and you could discuss it. If not, all they can do is talk behind your back.

I hence declare this space clear of petty useless things in the future.

3:59AM

I just made my own dinner. :{

A can of tuna, mayonaise, an onion, cucumber, tomatoes and lettuce. Just a tuna salad cause I wasn't in the mood to mess the kitchen up. Plus its two in the morning and my family is sleeping, can't risk burning the house down.

So I brought my salad out to the living room, turned the TV on and died of shame. Whats with the kids on Junior Masterchef? I wasn't even allowed near a knife when I was eight, let alone a stove. Woah, but nine-ten year olds cooking food like that. I want a kid like that.

Something I made for Michelle

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Front



Inside



Back

Only my second time making pencil boxes but I'm so glad at how neat it turned out. Made of canvas and lined with floral material, the birds (Swallows, Michelle's favorite.) are handstitched with felt and floral prints then fabric-glued onto the canvas.

I've been spending a lot of time in front of the sewing machine lately, I just finished hemming this circle skirt but I'm not too sure whether to attach it to a top and make a dress or just let it be. Oh well, photo's when I'm done! :)

Syok sendiri-ing. My skin can go from super dark to super fair. =/

"So I've come to this final conclusion,
I will not wait around,
For you to break my heart again."
- The Pierces, I'll be dreaming.
Old, but always good.

PS: Grey's Anatomy is so drama-rama. I don't think I could ever be a doctor, so much death and disease, sadness. I'd die.

Oracular Spectacular

I've been surviving on less than 5 hours of sleep.

A fantasy makeup show I did for ATP about two weeks back.



I finished half a bottle of makeup remover on this one. Lol.

Had a super hectic day, worked at the Future of Success Seminar, met all sorts of characters. Young teens all wondering where they'd end up; terrible, because even I myself am not sure what to do with my life. Lol. I know I'm in Mass Communications, but even then I don't know whether I want to work in Public Relations or not.

Tomorrow will be equally hectic, I'm supposed to leave for Port Dickson in the morning with the college mates but I can't. Because I have class at ACA, on any other day I'd skip but this is one class I've been looking forward to, the one class I feel I really need- Drama catwalk. I've been winging it by myself so far, but I really want to see this. :{

So Wei Wen will be staying back and after class ends at 7:30pm, I'll jump straight into his car and head for Port Dickson to join the rest. Supposed to pack now but thought I'd update first, should be light and easy- shorts, light tops, bikinis, flip-flops.

Can't wait to go beaching!

Just a sketch of some stuff in my wardrobe, I was doodling thinking of how to match stuff to bring to Australia. Wasn't meant to be colored.

"There people fail to realise that it is on the inside that God must be defended, not on the outside."
- Yann Martel, Life of Pi
Our government fails to realize this, you can't ban muslims from serving beer. I think ones relationship with God is a very personal private thing.

PS: You know those times when you buy dresses, only those dresses were made for tiny chicks so it look like you're not wearing pants [?] Yeah. Me neither.

Inane Frivolities

What's up with TV programs nowadays?

I don't know but I'm starting to find TV too stupid to watch, does anyone else find "True Beauty" and "The Bachelorette" a waste of time? I barely have time to watch ANTM anymore, but its probably the only reality show I bother to follow.

Most of the time at night I watch the learning chanels, "How do they do it?", "Factory Made", "Dirty Jobs", "Mythbusters". I personally like "Monsters inside of me" only now I start to think I have parasites inside every single blemish that appears on my skin. Lol.

Same goes for radio; I hardly listen to Fly.FM and Hits.FM anymore. I'd rather listen to BFM, politics, current issues and especially when they have health specialists on. If not the radio is usually sync-ed to my iPod, during my long drives to and from college I blast my music loud, then get lost in it. The only way I've survived driving from Kajang to Damansara daily is by stoning through.

I think I'm growing old. O.o

Batch 4 Amber Chia Academy girls! Carmen, Gwen, Me, Amanda, Jennifer, Veron and Josephine.

Jodi Benson, the voice of Ariel from The Little Mermaid, is also the voice of Barbie in Toy Story 2 & 3.
-Heh. I'm addicted to OMGfacts.

PS: Do you want to sign with Amber Chia Academy? I'll be at Sunway University from 1pm-6pm for some education fair, come sign up, its fun! We're like family there.

First Magazine Cover!

Taken with the Dell's webcam. I can't help the quality. Lol.

Uncle Ken sneaked us a free preview and I'm loving the photos.

Although I'm not really happy with my interview- I don't know why but they altered what I said grammatically and content-wise. So it came off as a bit stupid, I thought. But who reads interviews anyway? Its not like anyone really cares who I am :{ (Because a moustache emoticon makes all self-deprecating sentences better. Rofl)

Better quality photos: All taken from Jin



Cover shot. Gwen, Veron and me!



Photo's accompanying the interview.



Haha. Everyone likes this shot. I was arching my back like mad, trying to mantain my balance and my face came out angry. X)



This wasn't part of the photoshoot. This was taken when I was playing around but they used it for the interview anyway. Lol.

As usual, I'm going to blame my lack of updates on my busy lifestyle. Which isn't entirely true, I have pockets of time here and there which I choose to fill up with gaming rather than blogging. Lol. COD is a very stressful game, don't play it with the boys. (Who actually know how to play it.)

I've also my modeling stuff, the usual- classes at Amber Chia Academy and running aroud on go-sees, wardrobe fittings, catwalk stuff. I've a fitting early in the morning tomorrow then a makeup show at Sungei Wang at 7pm [?] (Come, I'm going to be a lantern, it'll be fantastic.) then I'm supposed to go catch all the seniors from ACA at the Keith Kee show on Sunday and I'm walking in another show on Wednesday at Tropicana Club. =/ Busy busy.

Old sketch. Experimenting with textures.

"They say the defination of insanity
is doing the same thing over and over again
and expecting different results."
- Bones
Only show worth watching at night. Meh.

PS: I have an ulcer from biting myself. In the same spot. Three times in a row. But no those were accidents, I'm completely sane. :{

Tumblr.

Tumblr-ing is addictive.

Its like scrapbooking, just in digital form- at least it is for me. And somedays when you've just had the ugliest day filled with ugly event after ugly event and you feel quite hopeless, Tumblr just reminds you that the world is still infinitely beautiful.

A kind of "Don't give up just yet." message for me. Now tell me why do you Tumblr?

Blow up dog.

Had a few go-sees in KL yesterday; brought Evonne along so we could go Chinese New Year outfit shopping afterwards.

I don't know why but I'm going through a darker phase with my wardrobe. I keep getting navy, dark green, black or grey stuff; I can't get myself to buy bright colors. I can't wait till my Christian evangelist aunts see my New Year wardrobe, I'll be accused of worshipping the devil. They think just because you wear black, you slaughter chickens underneath the full moon to or something equally dodgy.

Evonne brought along her helium balloon dog as a replacement Angel for a day and we walked it all over Pavillion. We even walked into Juicy Couture and asked "Excuse me, is it alright if I bring my dog here?" with our deadpan face. Lol. What a riot. Some guy even asked to take photos of us with our dog.

Angel's replacement.



Us and the replacement Angel in the car.



Evonne super tulan coz I kept camwhoring while she was driving.



Us and Angel's replacement in Forever 21! Lol.

Macaroons from Levain: Cinnamon, Green Tea, Triple Chocolate (Our favoirite!), Raspberry, Pistache and Jasmine.

Bollo: Long time ago. It was Chiko. As teenager we would drive about town together. My father warn us. No drive too fast for there are speed camera on A49 but Chiko crazy. He dangerous. He always say "Please, Bollo. Please let us go faster."
Vince Noir: Yeah, yeah so you chopped his head off right?
Bollo: No, I chopped his feet off. Stopped him pressing accelerator.
- The Mighty Boosh
Lol. I'm so addicted to this spazzy shit.

PS: Doing runway for makeup in Sungei Wang next Saturday (15th) drop by if you can! :)

Life continued.

I've been up and busy again.

Part of my prize from winning Mirrors is a modelling package with Amber Chia Academy. Its like a real college course, timetables, notes, teachers. I have two hour catwalk sessions with 7 other rickety thin girls teetering on 6 inch heels and classes three days a week.

Its quite fun although tiring, I've only been to two classes. After awhile your ankles are burning like mad and you have to get into this zone where you must still stand straight and balance. The other girls complain about pain in their thighs, but mine stem from the ankles.

Owell. It gives me something to do, besides stone around, eat and sleep.

I know Christmas is long gone but I can safely put the blame on Evonne this time who took so long to upload photos. Oh the burden and responsibilities that come with owning a DSLR~

Evonne, Me and Angeline



Shoes! Nude pumps are mine!



Jin, Suze and Alvin



My gift from Evonne- A sweet gold chain and a screen protector that doubles as a mirror.



Part of the girls. Lol. My arms are twigs but I'm totally digging the dramatic flare sleeves on this dress.



All the girls: Gloria, Cassandra, Evonne, Me, Niesha, Jin, Angeline and Suze.



Love this shot. Haha.



More candid happy shots. :))

We had our Christmas dinner in an italian restaurent called Michelangelo's in Pavillion. All 16 of us highschool mates, including the boyfriends and girlfriends. Exchanged gifts too, I'm missing that part most about Christmas, the feeling like its obligatory to feast together, I can barely ever get all of them in one spot anymore.

Best Christmas gift ever!! Dreamcatcher earrings from Casey, Gloria and Niesha.

"Quand je veux mourir le mercredi matin,
Je me dis ça peut attendre jeudi matin,
Quand je me réveille le matin du jeudi,
J'me dis j'aurais dù mourir mercredi."
- Je ne sais pas choisir, Emily Loizeau
Up and down, round and round, thats life. =/

PS: Yes Angel is still missing. I don't like thinking about it, if there's anything thats sure to make my mood plummet, its thinking about her. =( I don't know. I just want her back.

Missing Dog

Angel is missing.

:(

And I'm alternating between being suicidal and upset and being all gung-ho like "Yeah, I'mma find her."

This is the 3rd day going on 4th and I think I'm going to go crazy. The thing is, she usually runs out, she sleeps over at Suzen's place with her boyfriend King Kong. Then she's usually back by the next day, so I wasn't too worried when she didn't come home last night but now I'm going madddd.

I want my dog backkkkkkk.